Blog Post 003: Writing Sample 002 - Sitcom Script
“Oooh, Austin!”
Season 01
Episode 01
by
Roger l. Alderman Jr
EXT. GUS’S MOM AND DADS HOUSE - DAY
A suburban house in a quiet neighborhood. Well Manicured lawn and appealing to the eye. Cars and Trucks in the driveway. We can hear loud voices.
GUS’S MOM (V.O.)
This better be the last time you’re late with the rent.
INT. GUS’S ROOM/POOL HOUSE
The door to his room slams closed. Gus stands smiling as Austin sits hunched over obviously feeling defeated.
AUSTIN
What are we gonna do, Gus? She seemed really mad this time?
GUS
Ooh, Don’t mind her as long as we give her some money by the end of the week everything will be fine.
AUSTIN
I don’t know I think she really meant it this time.
GUS
You don't think it was that bad check do you?
AUSTIN
I do think! Even your mom’s gonna have limits, Gus. I mean my mom threw me out after just living at home for thirty years...
Gus looks at his cellphone screen and smiles at Austin.
GUS
Oooh, Austin...
AUSTIN
I really want you to stop that.
GUS
No, look.
AUSTIN
What?
GUS
That new Security Company is looking for New Security officers!
AUSTIN
But, Gus, we don’t know the first thing about security. You don’t even lock your doors at night.
GUS
Who would ever want to break into this dump? There’s nothing to steal. Besides how hard could it be? They are looking for Night Shift Security for a Meat Packing warehouse. Like taking candy from a baby. Come on! Let's go!
AUSTIN
Okay.
INT. GUS’S MOM AND DADS HOUSE/KITCHEN
The boys try creeping out of the house to avoid Gus’s mom. Both creep into the kitchen and towards the front door.
AUSTIN
Gus, I don’t like this. We should have just hopped the fence.
GUS
What are you worried about? They are both taking a nap.
Gus pauses and shivers as a look of terror fills his face.
GUS
Nevermind that. I just need to get the keys so we can slip out.
Austin points over Gus’s shoulder as his mom stands between the boys and escape. Austing gasps and wags his jaw. Austin slowly pouts lowering his head.
AUSTIN
You need to turn around.
GUS
My moms standing right there isn’t she.
(slowly turns)
Hi, Mom...
GUS’S MOM
Don’t you “hi, mom” me. What are you two up to? Sneaking through the house like common criminals.
AUSTIN
Nothing common about us
GUS
Shut up, Austin. Look we have a chance to make some money. I found a job perfect for us.
GUS’S MOM
A job...
(scoff)
Who in their right mind would hire you two idiots?
GUS
We had a job a couple weeks ago. Remember we were working that hotdog stand over by the car lot.
GUS’S MOM
Yeah, I remember Austin ate all the hotdogs you were supposed to sell.
Austin shrugs and smiles.
AUSTIN
I’m a growing boy.
GUS’S MOM
You’re 30? Your done growing up. You’re just growing out. You’re gonna have to use the pool to bath in. If you don’t stop eating.
GUS
Look, mom, he will get plenty of exercise at this job its night shift security at a meat packing plant. I’ll walk him every thirty minutes or so.
AUSTIN
Hey Now! What's the big idea?
Gus and his mom look puzzeled.
AUSTIN
I Can Walk My Self!
Austin grabs the keys from the hook and exits.
GUS/GUS’S MOM
Oooh, Austin!
EXT. MEATPACKING WAREHOUSE - DAY
Austin and Gus walk behind the Security Chief stopping short of the guard shack.
SECURITY CHIEF
Okay, boys, so there ya go that’s the whole plant but you two primarily work from here.
AUSTIN
In there? That’s so small and has no air conditioning? Gus, I don’t know about this.
SECURITY CHIEF
No, Austin, not inside the booth but the patrol car does.
GUS
Patrol Car.
SECURITY CHIEF
Yes, Sir. One of you should be in charge of the shift.
Security Chief and Gus look at Austin staring into his flashlight making faces. The Security Chief holds out the keys to the patrol car. Austin leans in to take the keys, but Gus is faster.
GUS
I’ll take those.
AUSTIN
But, Gus-
GUS
But nothing. We can’t have you accidentally eating the keys. Besides you need to exercise remember?
Austin kick at the dirt in shame of his past actions.
SECURITY CHIEF
I don’t care who takes lead just make sure there’s no funny business. The car and booth have radios.
AUSTIN
Radios?
GUS
No phones?
SECURITY CHIEF
One in the car was taken home by one of the day shift guys. The one in the booth gets bad reception. The boss is bringing a replacement tomorrow.
Austin takes out his cellphone.
AUSTIN
That’s okay we can just use ours-
The security chief slaps the phone out of Austin's hand.
SECURITY CHIEF
Oh no, you don’t. You’re not gonna be playing games on my dime mister.
GUS
Don’t worry as Shift Lead-
AUSTIN
SHIFT LEAD!!!
GUS
Well one of us has to take the burden of responsibility for what happens on our watch. You’re gonna be busy walking around. Someone has to keep an eye out for crooks and such. We may need to confront a deadly felon. Do you want to fight an armed criminal, Austin?
AUSTIN
No... I guess not.
GUS
I should think not. A handsome young boy like yourself shouldn’t be in fights.
Austin nods and walks into the Security Booth. He looks around cluelessly fidgeting with anything he can touch.
SECURITY CHIEF
Okay, Gus, you're in charge.
(leans in)
Keep an eye on this Austin guy. I just don’t trust him.
GUS
You can trust me.
Security Chief exits leaving Austin and Gus to their work. Austin realizes the door to the booth is locked. He points at the door handle begging for help from Gus, whose attention is elsewhere.
SECURITY CHIEF (V.O.)
One last thing. Don’t leave until your relief gets here at six in the morning. Got it.
Austin fans himself and bangs on the booth door. He’s trapped and the heat inside the booth is rising.
GUS
No worries, Boss. We got this.
Gus looks around for Austin with a puzzled look he glances at the booth. Austin slowly slides down the glass out of sight. Austin mouths the words “help me”.
GUS
Austin, what are you doing? Trying to get is fired our first night on the job.
Gus opens the door a soaked Austin crawls out. Austin gasps for air.
AUSTIN
I’m sorry, Gus, the door got locked. I couldn’t get out and the heat was rising-
GUS
Austin, you realize the door locks from the inside right?
Austin looks away in shame.
GUS
Oooh, Austin!
EXT. SECURITY BOOTH - NIGHT
Austin sits in the booth with his feet up playing on his cellphone. Gus enters starteling Austin. Austin flails about dropping his cellphone and nearly falling out of his chair.
GUS
Aha! Caught you!
Austin clutches his chest fixing his chair and sitting down.
AUSTIN
What’s the big idea? Are you crazy? Storming in here like that you could have given me a heart attack.
GUS
A fine security guard you turned out to be. Be glad it wasn’t the chief. You could have gotten us both fired. Gimme that cellphone.
Austin hands Gus his cellphone. Gus snatches it from him. Austin sticks out his bottom lip and sobs.
AUSTIN
Don’t fire me, Gus. I need this job to pay our rent.
Austin kneels taking Gus’s hand in his.
AUSTIN
Please, Gus! I need this job.
Gus smirks and shakes his head. He pulls away from Austin.
GUS
Alright. Enough. Look I got a plan.
Austin looks up wiping the tears away.
AUSTIN
What kind of plan?
GUS
Don’t you want to pay our back rent and make some extra money also?
Austin nods.
AUSTIN
What did you have in mind?
GUS
I got this guy, Chris, he works for a car dealership and they want him to plan a community bar b que.
AUSTIN
What’s that got to do with us?
Gus chuckles.
GUS
Well, he’s having a hard time finding enough meat in time to make the bar b que happen.
AUSTIN
I don’t get it-
Austin stops shocked by the implication.
AUSTIN
You’re not-
GUS
Steal meat from here to take there? No, we're gonna sell him the meat and get the money for rent.
AUSTIN
That’s stealing.
GUS
No, Austin, you see I charge Chris enough to pay for the meat and pay our rent.
Austin closes one eye as he tries to figure out the situation by drawing in the air. Gus swats at Austin.
AUSTIN
Gus, I may be wrong but that’s stealing, isn’t it?
GUS
No, Austin, it's sales.
Austin looks confused.
GUS
Look this is a meat packing warehouse, right?
AUSTIN
Right.
GUS
They sell meat, right?
AUSTIN
Yeah?
GUS
Well, were helping cut down on the budget for having to have the salesmen work tomorrow.
AUSTIN
Huh? I don’t get it.
Gus smirks.
GUS
Well if we sell all the meat here to Chris then everyone can take a day off. You do want our friends to have a day off right?
Austin shrugs baffled by Gus’s logic.
GUS
Don’t you think they deserve it after all the hard work?
AUSTIN
I...
GUS
Sure you do. Now go help Chris load the meat. He’ll pull around back when he gets here. Just open the door and help him put the meat in the truck.
Gus sits in Austin's chair and shoos him away.
AUSTIN
That’s it? Seems like I’m doping all the work? Shouldn’t I get a cut of the money?
Gus swats Austin with his hat.
GUS
All the work. Who do you think is gonna take responsibility if this all goes sideways?
Austin points at himself.
GUS
Don’t be silly I got this. You better hurry and get into the warehouse. Chris should be here real soon.
Austin shrugs and exits. Gus makes a call on Austin’s cellphone as he smiles devilishly.
GUS
Yeah, Chris, don’t worry we're all set. Yeah, I’ll be on the lookout in the security booth. Austin will let you in and-
Loud yelling erupts from the phone admonishing Austin.
GUS
Calm down. I got this. Have I ever steered you wrong?
(pause)
Exactly. Now get the truck down here. Austin will let you in through the loading ramp, but don't let him just stand by. Put him to work. Make him help.
Gus turns off the phone and rocks back in the chair putting his feet up on the desk.
GUS
(chuckles)
Oooh, Austin!
INT. MEATPACKING WAREHOUSE
Austin paces nervously. He rubs his arms trying to create warmth. His jaw quivers in the cold of the warehouse.
AUSTIN
Good lord, it's cold in here.
Austin locates the thermometer control and turns on the heat. He looks happy feeling the heat begin to flow. Knocking Sounds from the loading bay door.
AUSTIN
Hello?
CHRIS (O.S.)
It’s me man open the door?
AUSTIN
Me who?
CHRIS (O.S.)
What?
AUSTIN
How do I know it’s you?
CHRIS (O.S.)
Who else would it be?
AUSTIN
Okay, I know. Like in the movies tell me something only you and I would know about.
CHRIS (O.S.)
You know once I get inside. I’m going to have to hurt you for this?
AUSTIN
I know, but for now...
CHRIS (O.S.)
Fine, you live with Chris at his mom's house because you're such a-
AUSTIN
Hey. Hey. Hey. Come on now! Why you gotta be so hurtful.
CHRIS (O.S.)
That’s it I’m calling Gus.
Austin quickly opens the door revealing Chris angrily tapping his foot with a furrowed brow. Austin smiles bowing low theatrically. Chris storms past Austin.
EXT. MEATPACKING PLANT - LOADING DOORS
Chris motions for Austin to get into the back of the truck.
CHRIS
Get in. I’ll toss the meat and you stack it up.
AUSTIN
Why me?
CHRIS
Because I’ll keep a lookout and if someone comes they will never know you are in on this.
AUSTIN
That makes sense. Plus at least I have been working out. Wouldn’t want you hurting yourself.
CHRIS
Just be ready macho man...
Austin flexes aggressively in Chris’s face. Chris shakes his head and enters the loading area. Austin performs some warm-up exercises.
CHRIS (O.S.)
Okay, you ready! Here comes the first load.
Austin chuckles and motions for Chris to begin.
CHRIS (O.S.)
Hey, I found some really good Bar-B-Que sauce. Let's take some of it.
AUSTIN
(nods)
Sure. Why not. Two birds with one stone and all.
Autin gets floored by the precooked bar-b-que-smothered burgers and hot dogs flying through the air. SPLAT.
CHRIS (O.S.)
Here comes the next bunch. Stack’em pretty for daddy.
Austin tries to get back to his feet, but the sauce proves to be too slick. He’s shocked, but before he can say anything. WHAM, a bunch of bar-b-que-covered hot dogs and burgers fly through the air hitting him square again.
AUSTIN
Hey!
BOOM, another direct strike with saucy burgers and hot dogs! Down goes Austin. He struggles to get back to his feet.
CHRIS (O.S.)
Hey, did you know these guys have a picnic supply section in here...
Austin pouts as he is hit with potato salad and rolls. He wipes sauce from his eyes and face glaring towards the loading ramp.
AUSTIN
What the hell, man?
CHRIS (O.S.)
What's wrong?
Austin raises his hand wagging his finger.
GUS (V.O.)
Hey, guys hurry up. I think the cops got called they’re here.
CHRIS (O.S.)
Crap! Get Ready, Austin! Here comes...
Austin waves his arms trying to fend off what comes next. (In slow motion) Austin's eyes widen in terror. Then, Austin closes his eyes and turns away as saucy potato salad, Bar-B-Que sauce, rolls, watermelon, burgers, and hot dogs cover him from head to toe.
Austin pops his head from beneath a mountain of food and sauce. He immediately begins to pout and spits out a hot dog as Chris walks into the scene. Gus struts in behind Chris.
CHRIS
What are you doing? I can’t sell that stuff if you had it in your mouth. No one’s gonna buy pre-chewed food!
Gus and Chris glare at Austin as he weeps.
GUS
You ruined the whole plan! What were you thinking?
AUSTIN
Maybe your mom likes bar-b-que?
GUS/CHRIS
Oooh, Austin...
FADE OUT
The End
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